You’re Not Lazy: Understanding Executive Dysfunction in ADHD
If you’ve ever sat frozen in front of a sink full of dishes, stared at a to-do list while feeling utterly overwhelmed, or found yourself paralysed by the simplest task - even when you want to get it done - you’re not alone.
And no, you’re not lazy.
For many people with ADHD (diagnosed or not), the culprit behind these experiences is something called executive dysfunction. It’s a frustrating, often invisible struggle that can affect everything from daily routines to long-term goals. And it’s time we talked about it - without shame, without judgement, and with a whole lot more compassion.
What Is Executive Dysfunction?
Executive function is like the brain’s management system. Learn more about how executive function works here. It’s responsible for helping us:
Start tasks
Plan and organise
Focus attention
Regulate emotions
Remember important information
Shift between tasks
Stay motivated to complete things
When these systems aren’t working as they should - which is common in ADHD - it becomes incredibly difficult to do things that others might take for granted. That’s executive dysfunction.
It’s not about not wanting to do something. It’s about feeling mentally blocked - like the “go” button in your brain is broken.
How It Actually Feels
Executive dysfunction often shows up in subtle, everyday ways. You might:
Sit for hours knowing what you need to do, but unable to start
Bounce between unfinished tasks, feeling scattered and frustrated
Avoid important responsibilities out of shame or overwhelm
Forget appointments, deadlines, or basic steps in a routine
Feel emotions intensely and struggle to shift out of them
This often creates a painful cycle: you feel stuck → you get frustrated with yourself → you internalise it as laziness or failure → you feel more stuck.
Why It’s Not Laziness
Laziness implies a lack of care or effort. Executive dysfunction is the opposite - it’s a mental health issue that often affects people who care deeply and are trying incredibly hard.
Many adults with ADHD have spent years masking their difficulties or overcompensating just to keep up. They may be high-achieving in one area while silently drowning in another. This mismatch between ability and follow-through is not a flaw in character. It’s a neurological difference.
How Therapy Can Help
Living with executive dysfunction can be exhausting. But with the right support, things can shift. Therapy can provide:
Understanding and validation – Recognising that your struggles have a name, and that you’re not alone in them
Practical strategies – Learning realistic tools to work with your brain, not against it
Self-compassion – Letting go of harsh self-talk and building a kinder, more balanced relationship with yourself
Emotional regulation support – Helping you manage the shame, frustration or anxiety that often comes with executive dysfunction
You Deserve Support - Not Shame
If this blog resonates with you, take it as a sign that your challenges are real and valid. You don’t have to “try harder” or “just be more organised.” You deserve support that honours your brain’s unique wiring.
Whether you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD or are just starting to explore the possibility, therapy can offer a space to feel understood, explore patterns, and find ways to move forward with more ease and self-trust.
Learn more about our ADHD-Informed Counselling and Psychotherapy and how our team at Room for Therapy can help you, either in Edinburgh or online.
You are not lazy. You are doing your best with what you’ve got - and that matters.