When the Past Doesn’t Stay in the Past

For many people, trauma is imagined as something that happened long ago - a past event that should have been “gotten over” by now. But in reality, trauma is not always neatly sealed away in memory. Sometimes, it quietly carries forward into the present, shaping the way we think, feel, and relate to others without us fully realising it.

Unresolved trauma doesn’t always announce itself with obvious signs. Instead, it often shows up in the small, everyday ways we move through life - in how we react to stress, how we connect with people, or how we see ourselves. You may notice patterns that don’t seem to add up, or feelings that feel “too much” for the situation at hand. This isn’t weakness or overreaction. It’s often your mind and body carrying the weight of experiences that were too much to process at the time.

A Story of Living with the Unseen

Take, for example, Sarah (not a real client, but a blend of many common experiences). On the surface, Sarah has a steady job, close friends, and a life that looks “fine” from the outside. But inside, she often feels restless and tense. A colleague’s sharp tone in a meeting leaves her in tears later, though she can’t explain why. In her relationships, she finds herself pulling back when people get too close, worried they might leave or hurt her. At night, she sometimes wakes from unsettling dreams that feel more like reliving than remembering.

Sarah doesn’t immediately connect these struggles to her past. To her, they just feel like personal flaws - like she’s too sensitive, too anxious, too difficult. But what she’s really experiencing are signs of unresolved trauma: the echoes of old pain continuing to shape her present.

The Subtle Signs Trauma Leaves Behind

One of the clearest indicators of unresolved trauma is an emotional response that feels disproportionate to the moment. You might feel sudden anger, sadness, or fear in situations that seem safe on the surface. These reactions are not irrational - they are reminders that your nervous system learned to protect you in the past, and hasn’t yet learned it’s safe now.

For others, trauma shows up as a kind of numbness. Rather than being flooded with emotion, you may feel disconnected from yourself or from life, as if you’re moving through the days behind a glass wall. Flashbacks, nightmares, or recurring memories can also break through at unexpected times, leaving you unsettled and confused.

Even the way we see ourselves can be touched by trauma. Many people carry a deep undercurrent of shame, guilt, or self-criticism that doesn’t match the reality of what happened. Relationships, too, often feel harder. Trust may come slowly, or you might find yourself pulling away from closeness even when you long for connection.

Why Recognising the Signs Matters

Seeing these patterns in yourself can feel worrying at first - but it is also the beginning of healing. Recognising the signs of unresolved trauma doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been carrying something heavy for a long time, and your mind and body are still working hard to protect you.

With the right support, it is possible to make sense of these reactions and begin to loosen their grip. Trauma therapy provides a space to do this safely, at your own pace, and without judgement.

Working Through Unresolved Trauma

At Room for Therapy, we understand that living with unresolved trauma can be exhausting. Our role is not to force you to revisit the past before you’re ready, but to walk alongside you as you begin working through unresolved trauma.

Based in Edinburgh and online across the UK, our approach combines person-centred and psychodynamic principles. This means we meet you where you are, while also gently exploring how past experiences continue to shape your present. Together, we can help you find steadier ground - not by erasing what has happened, but by making sure it no longer defines the whole of who you are.

Further Support

If you are struggling with the effects of past trauma, it may help to reach out for professional support. Alongside therapy, there are organisations that can offer information and resources:

Mind - support and guidance on mental health, including trauma
NHS Inform - information and self-help resources in Scotland
Samaritans - free, confidential support if you need to talk, anytime

You don’t have to make sense of trauma on your own. Reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness - it is the first step toward healing.

Signs You Might Be Living with Unresolved Trauma